he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
