Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
