I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
