I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
