you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
