yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
