fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
