thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
