I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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