So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My dick has a subreddit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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