I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
