So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
