I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
