Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its liver damage thursday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
