you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
