grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
