you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
