YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
