Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
