How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize