ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
