just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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