You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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