I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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