Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
