Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
