At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize