You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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