Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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