I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
