Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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