It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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