I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
