The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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