Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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