Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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