And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
