i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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