He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
