I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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