Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
