Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize