It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
