Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
