Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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