Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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