The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
