So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
