Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
