whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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