i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
