At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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