I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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