so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
