i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
