I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize