no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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