so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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