I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
