Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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