Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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