I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
