I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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