no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
