I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You ruined the universe
Randomize
