so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
