That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
