Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
