Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
