He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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