I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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