found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My penis needs a shock collar
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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