Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
