I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
