I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
