we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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